You Can’t Make Everyone Happy…A Teaching Moment Dealing with Negativity
You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not Nutella. This was the caption I shared on an IG post last week and man does it hit the nail on the head. I thought I would expand a bit on why I shared this and how important it is to remember.
Last week I had a small article published on Apartment Therapy on our kitchen makeover. (you can see the makeover here) It’s always exciting when something gets published or attention and my almost 14 year old daughter especially loves to read and see every single thing.
She went on there and read it, and then she read the comments.
I should mention that I never read the comments on outside published content. Actually my husband reads them and only reads me the good ones! haha But I learned from the first experience that it doesn’t do you any good to read the negative and you will never find everyone happy about whatever you did. I don’t design spaces for the masses I design them for the specific client, whether that’s my sons (who have BIG opinions) or an edesign client. Personality, creativity and imagination abound here and there are a lot of people that aren’t into that. Which is cool and they can just scroll on, but computer screens embolden.
3 of my littles
My daughter took the negative comments very personally and I was devastated at how much it hurt her. Of course she’s protective of her mom and she knows how passionate I am about what I do. I sat her down and I explained that you will never find all people are happy, their comments really don’t matter (hence I don’t read them) and sometimes people just like to be plain mean. Sadly it’s the world we live in today.
I take these things with a grain of salt. I choose to live my life focusing on positivity, I push through the hard stuff (because of course it happens) and always look for the bright side. Hence all the jokes on IG, trying to be a spot of happy in someones day. (plus I just love corny jokes) And my design is an extension of this! Using colors and patterns evokes a sense of happiness.
There’s so much negativity in the world, why would I want to add to that? Or why would I want to further all that by contributing to it? Why would I want to give it a moment in my life? By reading or responding, it would require me to give them my time and attention. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
My sweet girly
This is about drowning out the noise and focusing on what is important to you. Staying true to yourself regardless of what other people think and recognizing who’s opinions are important and whose aren’t. And get yourself a censor! A friend, a sibling, a SO. That way you get to keep all the love while filtering out the rest.
When we sat and talked about all this I let her see how much I didn’t care about the haters, and she quickly recognized how little it mattered. It was also a shining moment to illustrate why she doesn’t have social media and we’re not into the idea of her having a YouTube channel. Oy
So there ya have it a life lesson in the form of a published article, never know when those parenting opportunities are going to come from eh?! And it’s a good reminder in all around life. Do you my friends and forget about the rest.
Have you ever encountered a powerful teaching moment with your kids? Or make a decision to block out negativity?
I always love to hear from you so hit me up in the comments!
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Pat
February 18, 2020Great idea to not read the comments and have only the best shared with you! I don’t get the ugly comments at all but I do know that hurt people hurt people. ? This is a definite lesson for your kids to ignore the ugly and enjoy your amazing creativity! You have such a talent for the unexpected and gorgeous details in your decor ~ I could move in and be incredibly happy the rest of my life! ??
Tina Bousu
February 18, 2020I don’t get them either, just move along if it’s something you don’t like. It’s not hard right?! But I want the kids, especially our daughter who is very creative and caring, to not be afraid of being herself and running with her ideas for fear of what people might say. Thank you so much Pat for your never ending support, I SO appreciate you and all of your comments! xoxoxo
Linda Schilling
February 18, 2020Your daughter is so Sweet!!! Unfortunately she’s the same age as my granddaughter and these babes are raised to respect others and to be kind. This leaves them to be vulnerable to many things that I don’t believe they can sort out in their minds why mean people are just never going to be any different.
These babes are going through enough torment by their own hormonal changes and especially your daughter being the only girl in the family she just doesn’t know which way to turn. Our Jazz is dealing with many of the same things, except hers are her classmates.
I wish you all the very best in life and that your babe learns to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to the negative things that life is going to constantly throw at her ???
Tina Bousu
February 18, 2020Hi Linda! She is! She is a deeply caring soul. We are very close and I am doing my best to raise a confident, strong and kind woman. I hope Jazz can find her way with your and her parents wisdom and guidance. School is tough and you are so right, this age itself presents it’s own challenges. I believe that with consistent positivity and a lot of communication they will grow to become everything we hope for in the next generation. xo